What Does Autism Look Like in Children and Young People

In recent years, you may have noticed that terms like autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and neurodivergence have become more common. Schools talk about them, other parents mention them, and you may see posts online about children being diagnosed. Many families wonder: why does it feel like so many more children are being identified today?

The main reason is that our understanding has grown. In the past, assessments were limited, stigma was high, and many children struggled without the right support. Today, we recognise a wider range of experiences and understand that autism exists on a spectrum rather than as separate labels, such as Asperger’s. Better awareness and better tools mean that more children are finally being seen and understood - not that more children suddenly “have” these conditions.

With increased identification comes a greater need for clear, accessible information. For many parents, the world of neurodivergence can feel overwhelming. There are unfamiliar terms, different types of therapy, and mixed messages online. This article aims to help you understand what autism might look like in children of different ages and genders, and what steps you can take if you start noticing signs. Let's see some examples:

Parent 1:

Our 6-year-old son is sweet, curious, and happiest when he’s lining up his cars or watching spinning objects. He talks, but mostly in short phrases, and sometimes he repeats lines from his favourite shows. Transitions are really hard on us, because leaving the apartment can turn into a meltdown if we don’t prepare him with pictures and warnings. Social situations confuse him; he wants to play but doesn’t always know how to join in. Still, when he’s comfortable, he shines! He’ll giggle, make eye contact, and share his favourite toys. We celebrate progress like trying a new food or tolerating a haircut. He’s growing in his own way, and we’re learning to meet him where he is.

In children, signs of autism can include:

• Having special interests in specific objects or routines

• Repeating phrases from shows or conversations

• Difficulty with changes or transitions

• Challenges joining social activities with peers

Each autistic child presents differently, so even though you may have heard that most autistic people find eye contact difficult, some do and some don’t.

Parent 2:

Our 13-year-old daughter is academically strong and loves routines. She’s sensitive to sounds and textures, so crowded hallways and scratchy clothing can ruin her whole day. Making friends hasn’t been easy. She often takes things literally and misses sarcasm, which creates misunderstandings. She wants friendships but worries about saying the wrong thing and not fitting in. When she gets upset, she rocks herself back-and-forth and sometimes flaps her hands around, almost as if trying to regulate herself. At home, she spends a lot of time diving deep into her favourite topic, which right now is around social justice.

Signs of autism in teenagers can include:

• Having specific routines

• Sensory sensitivities such as to sound, light, textures, and flavours

• Struggles with making and keeping friends

• Taking things literally and missing sarcasm or metaphors

• Using repetitive movements such as rocking to calm themselves

• Having special interests

Autism can also look different in girls than in boys. Girls often “mask” more than boys, meaning they work very hard to hide their differences in order to fit in. This can be exhausting and lead to stress.

What to do if you recognise these signs

Children do not need to show every possible symptom of autism to reach a diagnosis. In addition, they may show signs of other neurodivergent conditions such as ADHD.

Every child is unique. Some may show many of these signs, while others show only a few. What matters most is whether the behaviours affect your child’s quality of life - academically, socially, emotionally, or at home.

If you notice ongoing challenges that make school, friendships, or daily routines harder, it is important to seek support from experts such as clinical psychologists. Assessment and diagnosis can help you understand your child’s needs and connect them with the right support, whether that’s therapy, school accommodations, or parental support. The different options for therapy can be explored here, including CBT, Systemic, and Psychodynamic.

The most important thing to remember is that early understanding can make a big difference. Recognising your child’s needs allows you to support them in ways that help them thrive.